Updated: Mar 20, 2020
As we are all aware, change is inevitable. How we react and respond to change is what’s important. It can impact us positively or negatively, based on our outlook. For me, this year has been one of transitions and some major changes. Rather than freak out/let negative thoughts get the best of me, I have made a point to embrace the changes… many of which were by choice. I’ve listed three below:
Change #1: We bought our first house. Andy and I had been discussing our finances and future plans for over a year. We had our first meeting with our realtor in late January, began looking for houses in February, and closed on a house in April! Needless to say, the whole process was pretty painless compared to some other experiences I have heard about. I personally enjoyed the process of house-hunting, and finding homes that met our criteria. We only visited about 5-7 houses in total. I definitely remember visiting the house (which we now call home!). I had a good feeling about it right away. Our realtor advised us not to get our hopes up about any of the places we visited, for the mere fact that they could be off the market by the time we made an offer. Thankfully, we scheduled another visit, made an offer, and after some negotiating, the seller approved!
Although it was bittersweet to leave our previous neighborhood and awesome neighbors across the street, we knew it was time. Andy’s commute was awful. We had been renting from my parents, and we felt that buying was a step in the right direction. Plus, we had the credentials to get approved for a loan. Things were falling into place. I was not as upset about leaving as I initially anticipated. The real legwork was packing and purging items. Although the task was daunting at times, it was an opportunity to start fresh. The decision-making rested in the question, do I really want to spend the time/space packing this up and bringing it to the new house?
Change #2: I turned 30 in June. I know, it’s really not that big of a deal. However, I am no longer in my twenties… a decade marked with several changes from beginning to end. In my early twenties I was happy-go-lucky and appreciated transient relationships. In my mid-twenties I thought I knew what I wanted in life, but I wasn’t quite there yet. My groups of friends were beginning to scatter (both physically and emotionally). In my late twenties, I finally began to ‘find’ myself and settle into the early stages of adulthood. I have learned and accepted that making time for/making plans with people is an important aspect of sustaining relationships. So it seems, with the end of an era, thirty marks the beginning of a new chapter in my life.
Change #3: We got married last Saturday. It was truly the best weekend. All this week, I’ve been catching myself replaying moments in my head/looking at photographs that other people have posted on social media. Up until yesterday, I felt like a zombie at work… I went in for a half-day on Monday, and I was totally out of it on Tuesday. I think it was a combination of catching up on sleep and coming down from the emotional high I had all weekend.
Throughout the planning process, I did not want to become ‘Bridezilla’. I don’t quite understand how/why people get so worked up and stressed out to the point of becoming a monster. I mean, that term had to come from somewhere, right? Mind over matter, people. It’s just another glimpse at how people handle change/stress in different ways.
I’ll admit, there were definitely some moments where planning got overwhelming or frustrating (like when guests didn’t return RSVP cards and the headcount was due to the venue). Once school started back up, time management was crucial for keeping on track with everything. Despite the less pleasant aspects of planning our wedding, I reminded myself that it would soon be over. I didn’t want to have memories of stress or negativity. I wanted to remember the excitement and creativity that surrounded our planning process.
I’ve prepared my students for the transition from Ms. McTighe to Mrs. Capallo. It’s interesting to think about… my profession really makes that change apparent, since I am referred to by my last name. I created a ‘Countdown to Capallo’ sign in my classroom, to get the kids excited. Plus, it helped remind me how many days til the wedding! It will take some time for both me and my students to get used to the name change… some kids are really adapting well, and some are having a hard time. Perhaps this is somewhat indicative of their view on changes in general.
No matter what changes may occur in our lives, if they are out of our control, we must learn to roll with them as best we can. If they are within our control, we can and should approach them with a positive outlook.
What changes have occurred in your life recently? How have you responded to them?